Managing Disappointment

This is part 3 of a 4-part series on dealing with disappointment.

Part 1: Why Disappointment Is Good
Part 2: Are You Letting Your Disappointments Destroy You?
Part 3: How To Deal With Disappointment
Part 4: My Experience with Disappointment and How I Overcame It

Below are the constructive steps on how to cope with disappointment.

Clear your mind

In the state of disappointment, your thoughts become primarily based in fear, sadness or even apathy . Being trapped in such a state it prevents you from thinking logically and clearly. Your first focus should be to bring your consciousness up to a more neutral or positive level.

Look for positive activities where you can recharge. What do you like doing the most? Find them and do whatever makes you feel better. Sometimes, simply spending time alone might be the best way for you to clear out your mental clutter and regain personal energy.

Personally, different activities such as alone time, talking with my good friends, watching my favorite shows and playing my favorite sports help to lift me up considerably. I love playing Frisbee and badminton; whenever I play them I get a lot of exhilaration and fun. When I feel really down, I would rather prefer spending time by myself. This lets me organize the thoughts in my mind, without external interferences.

Connect with your desires behind your goals

Next, detach yourself from your goals and attach yourself to the desires behind your goals instead. Ask yourself : What are your desires that are driving your expectations? Understand what they are and list them down. Say you want to move to point B from point A. When you link yourself with these desires, you will realize that point B is just one of the many places you can go to. There are many other possible destinations where you can achieve your desires just as well, if not better.

Let go of your mental illusion

Many people remain unhappy because they are hung up over their expectations of what reality should be. If you are disappointed over something, you are harboring certain perceptions of what it should be. These perceptions are not the reality; they are illusions which are fake. If you remain stuck in them, it prevents you from progressing towards where you want to go. Dealing with disappointment requires you to let yourself go of the mental illusions. Release yourself of your mental illusions of what reality should be.

The result is not a setback

Disappointment is good is because it represents opportunity for growth. Many people become disappointed with outcomes because they view that as a setback against what they want. They feel like they have taken a step back from what they have come to acknowledge or expect.

For example, say you did a lot of preparation and late night studying for your exams. You believe these would let you get great results. However you fell short of your expectations.

While you may be feeling disappointed, this shows you there is a misconception in your thinking. What you originally thought is sufficient to achieve your outcome isn't. Rather, you may need to increase your resources or change your approach to achieve the results you want. Your disappointment is helping you to move towards your goals, not away from it as you think.

Do Your Best

Dealing with disappointment is definitely not an easy task, but if you work hard at the steps mentioned above, it will eventually help to pull you out of the void state you are in. As you start living past your disappointments, focus on living in fullest alignment with your desires, instead of your goals. Continue to have goals. Let them drive you forward.

By Celestine Chua, life coach passionate about helping you live your best life! Read full article: Dealing with Disappointment . She writes at CelestineChua.com, personal development blog to live your best life. For more high quality articles, visit her blog!